1 00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:43,487 What took you so long? Do you know what time it is? 2 00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:46,177 Yes, well, 99's mother 3 00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:48,157 Called us just Before we left earth. 4 00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:50,226 Well, this is probably the Last time we'll be able to have 5 00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:52,028 These secret meetings On the moon anyway. 6 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:54,230 Now that the astronauts Have landed successfully, 7 00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:56,098 There will probably be a Lot more of them coming. 8 00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:57,867 Well, we really Shouldn't complain, chief. 9 00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,335 We've had it for four years. 10 00:00:59,359 --> 00:01:00,804 Well, let's get Down to business. 11 00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:02,305 Now here's your assignment: 12 00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:05,130 Kaos has kidnapped Professor finneus pheasant. 13 00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:07,410 - who's he, chief? - probably the most important 14 00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:09,367 Nuclear scientist In the world, 99. 15 00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:12,181 Now according to our information, They're holding pheasant prisoner 16 00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:14,350 In the basement of kaos Headquarters in new jersey. 17 00:01:14,374 --> 00:01:16,508 - where? - new jersey. 18 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,337 I didn't get that, chief. 19 00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:28,086 - oh, new jersey. - go on, chief. 20 00:01:28,155 --> 00:01:30,033 Kaos is going to put Professor pheasant 21 00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:31,601 Through a series Of brainwashings 22 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,959 So they can find out Everything that he knows. 23 00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:36,005 Now your assignment it To get him out of there 24 00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:37,874 Before he cracks And starts talking. 25 00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:39,276 Do you have a layout Of the house, chief? 26 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:40,677 Yes, I've got one right here. 27 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:43,268 Now this is kaos's Summer headquarters. 28 00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:44,981 You'd better start Back immediately, 29 00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:46,582 It's going to take You a good six days 30 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,318 To get back to kaos Headquarters in new jersey. 31 00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,720 But, chief, it only takes three Days to get back to earth. 32 00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:53,378 I know that, 99, but Once you find the car 33 00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:55,691 And get it out of the Parking lot at the airport, 34 00:01:55,715 --> 00:01:58,494 And with the traffic into town, Believe me, it'll be another three days. 35 00:01:58,518 --> 00:02:00,438 He's right, 99. Come on, let's go. 36 00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:10,606 Chief, can we give you a lift? 37 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,550 No, thanks. I'm Not gong that way. 38 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:33,218 Max, look! Professor pheasant. 39 00:02:33,286 --> 00:02:35,886 Well, what's he doing in a Telephone booth reading a book? 40 00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:37,923 That's not a Telephone booth, max, 41 00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:39,624 that's a glass cell. 42 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:43,628 Of course. They've got Pheasant under glass. 43 00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:46,398 Come on, 99. 44 00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:56,841 Professor, we've come To take you out of here. 45 00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:58,643 I said, 46 00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:00,778 We've come to break You out of here. 47 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,914 Max, be quiet. 48 00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,560 He can't hear us, max. 49 00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:07,897 We've got to think of some Other way to communicate with him. 50 00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:11,023 Wait a minute, 99. I'll Call him on my shoe phone. 51 00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:15,305 Max, look. Kaos has Taken away the shoes. 52 00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:18,263 - they've thought of everything. - not quite, 99. 53 00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:26,838 how clever... 54 00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,607 A sock phone! 55 00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:31,643 - hello. - hello, professor. 56 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,979 This is maxwell smart, Agent 86 of control. 57 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,259 - yes, mr. Smart. - are you all right, professor? 58 00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:39,985 Not bad, considering the brainwashing They put me through every day. 59 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,832 But I didn't tell them anything About my new secret formula. 60 00:03:42,856 --> 00:03:45,223 Good, professor. We'll have You out of here in no time. 61 00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:47,003 I hope it's soon, mr. Smart. 62 00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:48,537 I think I'm going to faint. 63 00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:50,695 Oh, you're weak from All that brainwashing. 64 00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:52,342 No, from this phone call. 65 00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,399 I've had these socks On for five days. 66 00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:59,338 Well, look, professor, we'll Have you out of here in a jiffy. 67 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,451 Now here's what I want you To do: I want you to get down 68 00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:05,110 On the floor of the cell so you Won't be hit by any flying glass. 69 00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:08,178 Oh, you'll never be able to Break this glass, mr. Smart. 70 00:04:08,214 --> 00:04:10,848 It's absolutely indestructible. 71 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,518 Not with what I've Got in this satchel. 72 00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:19,691 Well, 99, we're going to have To try the silent machine gun. 73 00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:22,727 - okay, are you ready, 99? - ready, max. 74 00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:28,099 Max, it didn't even Crack the glass. 75 00:04:28,168 --> 00:04:31,736 99, I'm afraid I'm going to Have to use the laser gun. 76 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:34,105 Right, max. 77 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,321 Max, that didn't work either. 78 00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:40,289 We're never going to get the Professor out of the booth. 79 00:04:40,313 --> 00:04:43,158 Wait a minute, 99. There's One thing we haven't tried yet. 80 00:04:43,182 --> 00:04:44,716 What's that? 81 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:48,252 I don't care what the Control lab comes up with 82 00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:50,400 In new weapons. Nothing can beat this. 83 00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:53,024 This always works. 84 00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:57,896 Max, you broke the Basement window. 85 00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,609 I told you it always works, 99. 86 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,344 Man: check on the basement. 87 00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:03,301 Come on, 99. The window. 88 00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:13,912 Max, the gates are locked. 89 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,747 Come on, 99. 90 00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:19,518 The wall. We've got to Climb over that wall, 99. 91 00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:21,931 I'll get up on top and then I'll help you up. Come on. 92 00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:24,489 max, I don't think I'm going to do that. 93 00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:29,406 What are you talking about, You're not going to do that? 94 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,240 There are kaos agents All over the grounds. 95 00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:33,410 They're liable to find Us any minute. Come on. 96 00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:36,702 Well, max, I just don't think that's A very good thing for me to do. 97 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,418 99, will you please stop Arguing with me? Come on. 98 00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:44,276 Max, I didn't want to say Anything about this before, 99 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,644 but I went to see A doctor today. 100 00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:49,793 99, you're not sick, are you? 101 00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:51,683 Oh no, max. In fact, The doctor says 102 00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:53,696 I've never been in better Physical condition. 103 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,231 Good. Let's get over that wall. 104 00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:57,066 I'm going to have a baby, max. 105 00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,923 A baby? 106 00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:19,064 I think we've lost them, max. 107 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:21,345 - you can slow down now. - I'm gonna teach that kid 108 00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:24,420 How to play football and baseball And basketball and maybe golf. 109 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,211 Just don't teach him how to Drive, max. Please slow down. 110 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,848 We've only got one minute To make that phone booth 111 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:30,724 At 4th and fulton. 112 00:07:30,725 --> 00:07:32,929 You're so excited about Becoming a father, max. 113 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:35,754 Maybe you'd better let me drive. 114 00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:37,942 Too late, 99. There's The phone booth. 115 00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:42,493 Are you all right, 99? 116 00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:45,129 I'm fine, max, but you've Knocked over the phone booth. 117 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,632 Now how are we gonna Get that important call? 118 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:51,569 Max, the phone's still working! 119 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:05,349 Hello. Maxwell smart here. 120 00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:07,652 Max, here are your Follow-up instructions. 121 00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:09,654 You're to take Professor pheasant 122 00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,267 And proceed Immediately to pier 14 123 00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:13,769 Where you'll board a Coast guard cutter to hawaii. 124 00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:15,927 You're to remain in Hawaii for five days 125 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,741 Until you receive further Instructions. Have you got that, max? 126 00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:20,885 - not all of it, chief. - what didn't you get? 127 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,813 - professor pheasant. - you didn't get professor pheasant? 128 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:27,271 - max, do you know what this means? - I'm not going to hawaii? 129 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:34,445 Hold on a minute, chief. 130 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,048 - yes, what is it? - are you gonna be long? 131 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:39,917 - no, I'll be through in a minute. - well, then I'll wait. 132 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,095 Well, chief, now that I've Given you the bad news, 133 00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:45,635 Are you ready for Some good news? 134 00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:47,658 Well, I could Certainly use some. 135 00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:49,727 99 is going to have a baby. 136 00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:53,164 What? Max, you and 99? 137 00:08:53,232 --> 00:08:56,045 - why, that's marvelous. - and I'm gonna have my son follow 138 00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:58,469 Right in my footsteps. Just think, chief, 139 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,698 In a little while you'll have another Maxwell smart on your hands. 140 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:06,155 - I couldn't help it, chief. - and to make matters worse, 141 00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:07,779 You get yourself Involved in an accident. 142 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:10,059 You knocked over the telephone Booth. You attracted a crowd, 143 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,083 The police, the reporters, The fire department. 144 00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:13,763 Don't forget the Phone company, chief. 145 00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:16,487 I don't care about the phone Company. That's your problem. 146 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,668 The important thing is to get Back to the problem at hand... 147 00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:21,192 How to get professor Pheasant out of that glass cell. 148 00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:24,896 Forget about that, chief. I'm telling You that there is absolutely no way 149 00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:27,443 In this world that you Can break that glass cell. 150 00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,636 I'm not so sure, max. Larabee, come in here. 151 00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:30,613 Larabee: yes, sir. 152 00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:32,649 Chief, I told you... We Tried machine guns, 153 00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:33,484 We tried hand gren... 154 00:09:33,508 --> 00:09:35,652 Larabee, has that sample come back From the control lab yet? 155 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:37,820 - it's in there on my desk, chief. - bring it in. 156 00:09:37,844 --> 00:09:39,889 I'll need somebody to help Me. That desk is pretty heavy. 157 00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,858 I'll help you, larabee. 158 00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:44,916 I don't want anybody to bring in The desk. Just bring in the sample. 159 00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,796 Oh, then I don't Need any help, chief. 160 00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,798 Chief, I tell you, we Used the laser gun. 161 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:50,800 we even used a brick, chief. 162 00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:53,168 Max, will you be quiet and Just listen to me for a moment? 163 00:09:53,192 --> 00:09:56,360 We think that professor pheasant's Glass cell has been constructed 164 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,696 Of some new kind Of nuclearized glass. 165 00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:01,611 Now our scientists have been Working day and night in the control lab 166 00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:04,602 To try to duplicate it. We Think they've succeeded. 167 00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:07,016 I won't need you anymore, Larabee. You can go now. 168 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:10,474 Now, max, I want you to watch That cubicle very closely. 169 00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:17,015 keep your eye on The cubicle, max. 170 00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:27,725 - any questions? - yeah, what's on the flip side? 171 00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,927 Never mind what's on the Flip side. The point is that 172 00:10:29,996 --> 00:10:32,130 That voice shattered The unbreakable glass. 173 00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:34,999 - but how? - by hitting a note so high and so powerful 174 00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,402 That it broke down the Components of the nuclear glass. 175 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,071 Why, that's fantastic, Chief. Who is this guy? 176 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:43,040 It's not a guy, max. It's rosa la costa. 177 00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:45,142 - control's singing agent? - that's right. 178 00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:48,224 Wait a minute, chief. If she's Gonna go in and sing that note 179 00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:51,460 To break that glass, we've gotta Get her into kaos headquarters. 180 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,451 That's already been Taken care of, max. 181 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:56,087 Belasco, like all kaos Agents, is an opera lover. 182 00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:58,456 He also happens to be A fan of rosa la costa. 183 00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:01,559 Now we've arranged for Rosa la costa to give a concert 184 00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:03,894 At kaos's secret Headquarters tomorrow night. 185 00:11:03,963 --> 00:11:04,947 Oh, that's great, chief. 186 00:11:04,971 --> 00:11:07,243 As soon as she hits the Note that breaks the glass, 187 00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:08,944 - we move in. - you and me, huh, chief? 188 00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:11,703 No, me and larabee. You're going To be rosa la costa's accompanist. 189 00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:13,148 - I am? - yes. 190 00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:15,150 She's going to Sing "Chopsticks"? 191 00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:17,108 No, she's not going To sing "Chopsticks." 192 00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:19,822 If I'm gonna be her accompanist, She's gonna sing "Chopsticks," 193 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,957 Because that's the only Thing I know how to play. 194 00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:24,482 Max, you're not actually Going to be playing the piano. 195 00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:27,418 You'll only be pretending To play the piano. 196 00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:30,688 Chief, you've got me confused. I don't Even know what you're talking about. 197 00:11:30,757 --> 00:11:33,324 Max, these cartridges contain 198 00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:35,404 Rosa la costa's Entire repertoire. 199 00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:37,161 What am I supposed To do with them? 200 00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:40,042 You'll be using control's new Computer piano for the recital. 201 00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:42,778 Now all you do is slip these Cartridges into the chamber, 202 00:11:42,802 --> 00:11:45,047 Then pretend to be striking The notes on the piano 203 00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:48,539 - as they're being played. - well, that'll take a little practice. 204 00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,619 That'll take a lot Of practice, max. 205 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:13,531 Mr. Smart, we have Been practicing 206 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:17,035 10 or 12 hours, and you Have been dropping things 207 00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:19,081 and picking them up And dropping them again. 208 00:12:19,105 --> 00:12:22,373 During all that time, I don't Think you have spent 10 minutes 209 00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:25,443 - at the keyboard. - well, I've been busy. 210 00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:27,878 Let's continue. 211 00:12:27,947 --> 00:12:31,249 After this aria there Will be 30 to 50 seconds 212 00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:33,283 Of thunderous applause, 213 00:12:33,352 --> 00:12:36,387 After which I will Say to the audience, 214 00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:39,924 "Ladies and gentlemen, May I have a small 215 00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:42,827 but well-deserved Round of applause 216 00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:45,029 for my accompanist?" 217 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,932 That's when you stand Up and take your bow. 218 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,401 Oh, I'm good at that. 219 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,945 Hi there. 220 00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:01,827 Oh, hello, chief. 221 00:13:01,851 --> 00:13:04,315 Chief: well, max, you've Really done it this time. 222 00:13:04,383 --> 00:13:06,762 I wanna see you down Here at the office immediately! 223 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,497 Why, chief? What's wrong? 224 00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,499 What's wrong? I'll Tell you what's wrong. 225 00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:13,124 Look at the morning paper. 226 00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:14,759 Oh, it's a picture of me 227 00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:17,228 Next to that phone booth I knocked down yesterday. 228 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,097 Now read the caption. 229 00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:21,732 "Secret agent not so secret." 230 00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:32,087 Max, you didn't tell me 231 00:13:32,111 --> 00:13:34,123 That a photographer Took your picture. 232 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,080 Yes, well, you see, chief. 233 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,449 I was so excited that I guess I didn't realize 234 00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:40,017 He was taking my picture. 235 00:13:40,086 --> 00:13:42,431 You were so excited that When he asked you who you were, 236 00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:45,290 You told him you were A secret control agent. 237 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,292 Well, you know, chief, I'm gonna become a father, 238 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,160 And I guess I got a little Confused and upset. 239 00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:50,595 You can understand that. 240 00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:54,199 I can understand it, Max, but I can't accept it. 241 00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,345 You've blown your Cover as a secret agent. 242 00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:58,803 I don't know what You're gonna do, max. 243 00:13:58,871 --> 00:14:00,805 - larabee. - larabee: yes, chief. 244 00:14:00,873 --> 00:14:02,807 Come in here and bring the files 245 00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:04,995 On all control agents Who are also musicians. 246 00:14:05,044 --> 00:14:07,884 Well, at least let me Complete the pheasant case. 247 00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:12,717 - here you are, chief. - thank you, larabee. 248 00:14:12,786 --> 00:14:15,831 That was a terrific picture of You in this morning's newspaper, max. 249 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,389 Oh, thank you, larabee. 250 00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:20,970 This file is empty. What about Holloway, marco, curtis? 251 00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:23,639 - they're all musicians. Where are they? - they're in vegas. 252 00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,274 Then they open in Chicago for two weeks, 253 00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:27,143 And then they play Detroit, pittsburgh. 254 00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:29,845 - are they on an assignment? - you can call it an assignment. 255 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,937 - they call it a gig. - thanks anyway, larabee. 256 00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:34,984 Max, you put me in A terrible position 257 00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:36,986 Getting your Picture in the paper. 258 00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,354 There's nobody To take your place. 259 00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:42,914 Wait a minute, chief. If My face is so well-known, 260 00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:45,850 Supposing I had it changed. 261 00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:47,897 Max, the recital Is tomorrow night. 262 00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:49,899 You know how long Plastic surgery takes. 263 00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:51,989 - not if I go to proctor. - who's proctor? 264 00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:54,625 - hector proctor. - who's hector proctor? 265 00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:57,195 A doctor. Dr. Hector proctor. 266 00:14:57,263 --> 00:14:59,230 Amazing. 267 00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:02,900 Absolutely amazing. 268 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:04,866 What is? 269 00:15:04,870 --> 00:15:06,403 The fact you waited This long to change it. 270 00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:09,073 This may be a work Of art, mr. Smart. 271 00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:11,843 It may very well Be my "Mona lisa." 272 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:15,613 If you don't mind, doctor, I prefer Someone a little more masculine. 273 00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:18,249 Close your eyes, mr. Smart. 274 00:15:25,224 --> 00:15:29,127 Now let's take a Look at your new face. 275 00:15:29,195 --> 00:15:32,130 It's an amazing technique, Max, but the face is all wrong. 276 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,307 But, chief, dr. Proctor Himself said 277 00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:38,280 This a perfect face For a secret agent. 278 00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:39,737 Well, that's just the point. 279 00:15:39,805 --> 00:15:41,502 His face is even more Well-known that yours. 280 00:15:41,526 --> 00:15:42,084 Whose? 281 00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,108 - martin landau. - never heard of him. 282 00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:46,177 I usually wait 48 hours 283 00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:48,646 For the old face to return Before spraying on a new one. 284 00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:50,949 I've never sprayed a new Face on a new face before, 285 00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:53,985 So there's no telling What we may get. 286 00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,588 Yes, larabee. 287 00:15:57,656 --> 00:16:01,158 Larabee: there's someone out Here who claims to be maxwell smart. 288 00:16:01,227 --> 00:16:03,260 Well, is it or isn't it? 289 00:16:03,329 --> 00:16:05,696 it sounds like him, but it Sure doesn't look like him. 290 00:16:05,764 --> 00:16:07,698 Good. Send him in. 291 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,138 Well? 292 00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:17,786 Max, everybody knows that rosa La costa's accompanist is a man. 293 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:21,130 You look just like a Woman... The dress, the hair. 294 00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:23,480 How about the face? 295 00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:25,349 All right, let's see What you look like now. 296 00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:34,758 Splendid. Here, See for yourself. 297 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,862 Hey, that's terrific, doctor. 298 00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:40,909 I don't look like anybody I've ever seen before, 299 00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:43,379 Including myself. The Eyes are a little different 300 00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:45,147 - and the nose is diff... - be careful, mr. Smart. 301 00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,905 Those features won't be fully Dry for another 15 minutes. 302 00:16:47,973 --> 00:16:50,052 Oh, and then they'll stay That way for 48 hours? 303 00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:53,310 Yes, provided you avoid Exposure to extreme heat. 304 00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:55,590 Well, what'll Happen if I do that? 305 00:16:55,614 --> 00:16:59,050 Nothing dangerous. Your face will fall off. 306 00:16:59,118 --> 00:17:01,052 I can just see myself 307 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,721 At that recital tomorrow night. 308 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,693 You may begin the Concert, mr. Belasco, 309 00:17:08,762 --> 00:17:11,895 As soon as my Accompanist is here. 310 00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:16,633 He's here. 311 00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:28,891 Any luck with the professor? 312 00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:32,016 One more brainwashing session and He'll be ready to reveal the formula. 313 00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:35,452 Excellent. We'll do it tonight After everyone has left. 314 00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:37,788 Hors d'oeuvres? 315 00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,924 Oh, hi, 99. How do you feel? 316 00:17:39,993 --> 00:17:42,505 I'm absolutely exhausted, max. 317 00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:44,507 Do you know this is the Fourth tray of hors d'oeuvres 318 00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:47,431 - I brought out of the kitchen? - the guests are eating that much? 319 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,433 No, I am. 320 00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:52,904 I'm absolutely Famished all the time. 321 00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:54,906 Have you checked everything out? 322 00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:58,308 Right, max. The professor's Still in his cell in the basement 323 00:17:58,377 --> 00:18:01,524 And the computer piano was Delivered a couple of hours ago. 324 00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:03,548 All right, now here's What I want you to do. 325 00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:07,018 Over your left Shoulder... Don't look... 326 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,020 There's a door Leading to the cellar. 327 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,288 Now when madame la Costa hits that high note, 328 00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:13,468 I want you to make for that Door, get down those stairs. 329 00:18:13,492 --> 00:18:16,727 - I'll be right behind you. - right, max. Oh, wait a minute, please. 330 00:18:19,165 --> 00:18:21,866 - thank you. That'll be enough. - oh, no, wait. 331 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,941 I think you'd better Get over by the door, 99. 332 00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:36,447 Ladies and gentlemen, 333 00:18:36,515 --> 00:18:39,116 if I may have your Undivided attention, 334 00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:41,118 we will start the recital. 335 00:18:41,186 --> 00:18:44,521 As you all know, we are To be honored this evening... 336 00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:03,607 As I was saying, tonight We will be honored 337 00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:07,144 By the presence of the Music world's greatest 338 00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:10,080 and most celebrated talents... 339 00:19:19,191 --> 00:19:21,224 Have you quite finished? 340 00:19:28,434 --> 00:19:30,300 And now without further ado 341 00:19:30,369 --> 00:19:32,436 I am privileged to introduce 342 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,504 our distinguished guest 343 00:19:34,573 --> 00:19:36,006 madame rosa la costa! 344 00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:24,414 Dr. Proctor's: careful, mr. Smart. Avoid exposure to extreme heat. 345 00:21:24,483 --> 00:21:27,084 - max: and what if I don't? - your face will fall off. 346 00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:36,359 The piano player. There's Something wrong with his face. 347 00:21:45,504 --> 00:21:47,938 That's the worst Nose job I've ever seen. 348 00:21:53,445 --> 00:21:56,714 There's something strange Going on around here. 349 00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:27,644 - that's maxwell smart! - hurry! 350 00:22:27,713 --> 00:22:28,713 Come along! 351 00:22:30,549 --> 00:22:33,650 - 99, look. - the glass didn't break! 352 00:22:33,719 --> 00:22:35,652 Man: it's locked. 353 00:22:35,721 --> 00:22:37,754 Max, what are we gonna do? 354 00:22:37,824 --> 00:22:41,058 I promised control I Would break that glass. 355 00:22:41,127 --> 00:22:43,305 And I'm going to break it, 356 00:22:43,329 --> 00:22:45,429 One way or another. 357 00:22:45,497 --> 00:22:47,497 Step aside. 358 00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:58,075 Good work, madame la costa! 359 00:22:58,144 --> 00:23:00,289 Come on, 99, we've gotta get The professor out of here. 360 00:23:00,313 --> 00:23:02,046 - how, max? - through the window. 361 00:23:02,114 --> 00:23:05,582 That won't be necessary. We've taken Kadinsky and belasco into custody. 362 00:23:05,651 --> 00:23:07,751 Oh, good work, chief. 363 00:23:07,820 --> 00:23:09,998 Max, how much did You pay for my ring? 364 00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:12,034 I don't know, 99. What Difference does it make? 365 00:23:12,058 --> 00:23:14,336 Why do you ask me a question Like that at a time like this? 366 00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:17,172 Because of something that happened When madame la costa hit the high note 367 00:23:17,196 --> 00:23:19,641 - and all the glass was breaking. - what has that got to do 368 00:23:19,665 --> 00:23:22,366 - with your diamond ring? - diamond, max?